Why I will be watching the Golden Globes this Sunday

I have to admit: I'm a bit of an awards season nut. I read dozens of predictions, tune into the pre-shows, watch every lame joke and head-to-toe shot of red carpet coverage and refuse to miss even a second of the most important telecasts (Globes, Emmys, SAGs, Oscars).

And friends, this hallowed time is upon us once again.

Now, I'm discriminating. For instance, last night I watched approximately 11.5 minutes (or so) of The People's Choice Awards before recognizing that this was not a wise way to spend my time. (That being said, a quick shout-out to People's Choice winner Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog!) Why watch the pre-announced (to the winners, anyways) results of fan internet voting (the voice of the people!) when I could frustrate myself over the often antiquated, campaign-rigged, painfully traditional selections of the rich and powerful elite? I mean, part of the fun of award shows is the unavoidable collision of prestige with pretentiousness!

My personal favourite award show is The Golden Globes. Nominated and voted for by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (whoever they are), the Globes is quite possibly the perfect award show for the following reasons:

1) You get as much of and usually as impressive a red carpet selection as you do at the Oscars without the ominousness of OSCAR hanging over everyone's heads.

2) The Globes is like two award shows for the price of one. Because it celebrates achievement in both film AND television, I get to spend yet another evening with ALL of the people with whom I already spend most of my time.

In fact, it's like THREE award shows in one: recognition of excellence in television, films that have been and will continue to be acknowledged at a plethora of award shows (also known as "dramas") and films whose only prior recognition was at the Teen Choice Awards (also known as "comedies").

3) The awkwardly arranged, circular tables make for good television. Some people crane their necks, others turn their chairs right around. Others still don't bother to watch the stage at all, busy doing other things. Which brings me to my next point...

4) Everyone is hammered. Honestly, the Globes promises at least one, if not several sloshed-out, slurred speeches. The party doesn't begin after the handing out of awards, it totally begins before, and continues throughout the show. Haven't you ever wondered why an unprecedented number of winners missed their glory moment at the Globes because they were in the washroom? It's called breaking the seal...TOO EARLY.

5) For the most part, you don't have to put up with any extra crap. No host, no skits, no songs (or limited, nominated film related songs). Just award after award presented and accepted by toasted, glamorous people.

I could probably go on but I think I've made my point. However, since I seem to be into lists lately, how about five more reasons to watch this year's Globe ceremony:

1) The Globes, for all intents and purposes, were cancelled last year due to the Writers' Strike. Expect this year to make up for it on all fronts.

2) With two nominations in two categories, Kate Winslet is bound to win something. If she doesn't, let the rebellion begin. This should also be the most important stop on the Kate-Winslet-is-bound-to-win-something Road to the Oscars (where she will - FINALLY! - take home a statue...or the Academy will have me to contend with).

3) In all likelihood, we will get to see the first televised presentation of a posthumous award to Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight. We will also get to see who will accept on his behalf.

4) Even though Ledger will emerge victorious, take the opportunity to revel in his co-nominees, a list which includes Robert Downey Jr. in blackface and Tom Cruise in a fatsuit.

5) I like to think of True Blood as an homage to Anna Paquin's breasts. I don't see why the Globes should be any different.

I was going to make #5 a 'What else would you be watching?'-type point, but sadly even my interests are divided this Sunday between Globes fever and NFL playoffs.

But wait-San Diego at Pittsburgh will be over by the time the actual ceremony begins. So there, you have no excuse.

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As a final list to my list of lists, I promise to post my picks before Sunday at 6.

(There's an unintentional, elaborate rhyme in there somewhere.)

http://www.goldenglobes.org/